Nicolette Van Duysen
October 24, 2014
English 1100
Paper
Honest Beauty
What
is beauty really? I could almost guarantee that when people hear the word
beauty they picture: girls that look like the ones in magazines, with a lot of
make up, and clothes that flatter their skinny bodies. Off of that first glance
at the girls in magazines that make everyone feel self conscious before
flipping the page, people do not take time to realize that how people look on
there is not how it is in “real life.” Think about all of the Photoshop it took
to make that photo look the way it does, not even mentioning the hours of hair
and make up that they have to go through just to get the perfect angle to get
that shot that everyone looks at. In that case, can’t anyone be a model? There are
countless things in today’s society that make beauty dishonest, but honest
beauty is out there.
That
being said, beauty can be honest, but depending on the situation you are
looking at. The people in the magazines are not honest beauty. However, if you
find someone that does not have to wear that much make up or show that much
skin to feel pretty, these are the natural beautiful people. On the other hand,
being beautiful is not always about your appearance to the outside world
either. You could be three hundred pounds and feel terrible about yourself, but
still be beautiful. Beauty comes on the inside too, and then shimmers through
your outside appearance and how people look at you. Beauty could come from
within and once some people see that, they just look at you as beautiful.
Therefore, honest beauty could be looking beautiful on the outside without even
trying, and what based on the person you are on the inside making you
beautiful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM4Xe6Dlp0Yhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM4Xe6Dlp0Y
Nic:
ReplyDeleteThis is a nice sentence: "Beauty comes on the inside too, and then shimmers through your outside appearance and how people look at you."
However, what has been your most pressing and consistent pattern of error, is sentence level clarity. Sometimes I do not understand what you're trying to say. However, when you keep it plain your natural ideas shimmer through.
Your sentences in this response could be written more clearly. I am not clear what you're trying to say to your reader nor is your main point clear. Can you help me understand what you're trying to say?
How does your last image connect to your point? When you include images, they should be relevant and right now I'm not sure how you're connecting it nor am I understanding its relevance. Please fix this.
Also, if beauty can be honest, offer your explanation of this. Show how it's honest. Give scenarios.
Does this make sense? Please respond to my comments.
Warmly,
-RY